I've been out of church for over 7 years. I miss it, but I've lost the desire for fellowship.?

I left after the pastor did. However, I never was 100% committed and took it for granted. I'm so far off the walk, I hardly resemble a believer. I cannot even bring myself to call myself a Christian, although I know I'm saved. I lost 99.99 % of my close friends when I left the church and feel rejected and dejected. Pitiful, ain't it? I honestly fear I will remain this way until either I die, or the rapture occurs, which ever comes first. What else shall I do? Haven't truly prayed or sought God in a long time. Lots of words for a lot of worry.