Should I trust my husband?

Soon after marriage within 3 months i caught my husband fooling around with the maid then he got into drinking and started staying out late past midnight almost 20 days a month on inquiring he said his job kept him away he used to come home drunk not even a word of exchange between us leave aside good night and sheepishly leave home early early morning. Then we moved to another destination and he changed and we were like a family again but his drinking continued and since he was in sales he was always out and i found condoms in the house he said his prepuse had caught in the zipper and he showed the doc and the doc asked him to use but he had never used with me. After 35 years through the cab fellow i came to know that in his early married life he was out watching cabaret dances when i asked him he confessed that once in his drunken state the first time he saw the cabaret he got aroused and he visited a prostitute and after that once his friend forced him to and he accompanied him. First on confession he said he had two sexual encounters then after some days when i was really mad and told him that ok the first time u said u were drunk and did not know what you were doing though he distintly remembered his experience when inquired meaning how the boobs and how he felt when he entered etc (god) the second time when he went i said u should have had some shame becos those days i was doing double duty morning and evening to keep the home fires burning so suddenly he changed after a few days and said i remember the second time i did not do anything since my friend forced me to accompany him i went and since he had paid i went in with the lady but she just stripped to her panty and bra but i was in no mood so i just put my hand around her shoulder and just carassed her legs coming this from my husband is uneblievable becos just nude photos arouses him to the hilt. I just want to know that why did he describe the gory details of his first experience after so many years and made my life miserable though he has suddenly become like a love bird and smoking which was one thing dear to him he has given up saying he is doing this becos he is shameful and wants to say sorry but just yesterday i caught him smoking when he left the house i kind of followed him my doubt came when he started keeping cloromint in the house. Is he still a lier, a fibber, a cheater. I don't know what to do. I have a feeling he has had whores more than once as he claims he must have got into the habit and hence his late comings almost every other day. Okay that is past but everytime he becomes penniless and then becomes sober this has been going on for the past 35 years i keep working and paying his debts he has not been working since almost 15 years now. ONce he gets money he will be again be his abusive drinking arrogant self. But now he has promised not to do it ever again i must have heard this 15 times now. Mercifully we have no children. But after confession he is unable to make love to me he just does not get an erection i feel so dejected and unwanted. Please help what should i do. What is his pschology i dont understand. What do I do. I do love him though and like i said he has suddenly become like a love bird that is only after i made him read some articles on line like how to handle your spouse after cheating, is he acting, i dont uderstand can someone throw some light on this i am really losing my mental equilibrium. I am 10 years younger to him. My doubts are has he been sleeping with women often and lying. Because everytime he says he just had one sexual encounter but he describes the encounter in different ways everytime example i removed my clothes, i did not remove my clothes then suddenly i dont remember but does remember the parts he fondled very well then he never relates to the lady as she he always says they do this they do that they they. never she she if it is only once and then he says i always wash after coming home if it is once then how always...Is he lying or getting confused i dont understand. I am really losing my head are their any free sites on line where i can chat and at least relieve myself. plz help